justrun-.

finger spasms of incoherence

family has shrunk to record low size. current number at dinner table: 3.

pam- in tamworth, down under

pence- in rockhampton, down under

mummy- in ontario, canada

prissy- in school for some camp

if sometime-brother hadn't come back for dinner it would've been 2. the house is too quiet. when it's so quiet like this i start to lose my head. esp when i'm locked up in my room for 20hrs of the day (they other 4 hrs are spent either at macritchie or turf city). i think if i was put in jail i would go mad ..

i feel like all the energy and willpower's been drained out from my body. like i'm just going through the motion of things for the sake of it. my mind's hardly with me when i'm at training or doing work. it's scary.. feeling like i'll never get any of it back.

all these expectations people have of you, because of what you were... you feel so afraid to let them know that the truth is that you no longer have that same ability, no longer want the same things. people aren't concerned with what happened in between, but rather with the end result you produce.

it's not a nice feeling when someone tramples all over you and tells you that your achievements are worthless. and the reason he thinks this is so absurd. but there's nothing i can do... i'm just bursting to tell everyone that i quit.

when people keep leaving me like that i can only feel terrified. terrified that i'll never see them again. because i've become so dependent on them.. i need them. and i'm not ready to take flight on my own.

if they leave, i might lose them forever.
and i don't ever want to experience that all over again.

but there's nothing i can do to stop this from happening.

[pat]* decided to runaway-.

put on her shoes at [21:37]

and took [20071114] strides

it's the passion that drives you